You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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