everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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