so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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