I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
