As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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