He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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