whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I love having hate sex.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
