he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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