I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
