at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
