I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
