I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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