i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
