if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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