Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize