U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
