I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Couch. On fire.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
