Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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