In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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