i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
