You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
