Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's shark week go big or go home
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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