So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
