too bad you live with your parents still
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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