did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
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