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Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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