How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
