Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm getting married
To pizza
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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