I feel like abortions should bother me more
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
