1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
