I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
