you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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