I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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