So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
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