My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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