Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
