it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
