She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
