i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
