i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize