She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
