what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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