just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
