I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
