I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
