You're so nebulous sometimes
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
