Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
