you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I am one with the molecules
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
