That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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