I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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