Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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