You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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