watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
