News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
