YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
