She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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