im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
