hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
