I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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